Sometimes it seems like there are (at least) two different versions of me, the one who likes to hang out and be sociable and the one who all but refuses to leave the apartment. In reality, it’s more of a spectrum, from no-human-contact to oh-that-sounds-like-fun-let’s-go, and all the tiny points in between.
I’m at my best when I find my harmony point. Where I can take into account all the other things going on in my day-week-life and realize what events will make me feel good versus those that will make me feel exhausted. Because, they may be the same events, just a difference in the surrounding details.
If you like this thought, take a peek at the Social Caterpillar store
I’m My Own Rainbow
And then, there’s the way I am when we first meet, the way I am when I’m in a crowd, the way I am when I’ve know you a while and it’s just us… All different, often *quite* different. I have a friend whose husband thought I didn’t like him because the first two times I met him were large group settings and it was all I could to to remember who everyone was, including myself.
I have another friend who recently told a mutual friend that he thought my quiet side was a front. Heh. That’s cute. I mean, I can see why he would think that. When we first met, I barely said a word. Now he can hardly get me to shut up and he’s seen all the ‘outgoing’ stuff I’ve done over the past couple of years. It could easily look like an effortless transformation if you weren’t in my head and so far, I’m still the only one in here.
But really it’s all me. Just me at different times, in different situations, under different circumstances. We all do it. You don’t act the same way in front of your grandmother as you do with friends you’ve had since Jr. High, do you? Please, say the answer is no. Or that your granny likes to smoke with you behind the garage.
Juuuuuust Right… Now
Different isn’t necessarily wrong. It’s that my variables are different that other people’s. Or even my own, depending on what else I’ve got going on. I can feel like grabbing supper with friends one Friday and not want to leave the house the whole following weekend, just because of a difference in all of the other stuff I had going on each week. And that’s great, because it’s what works for me, as long as I see it and make allowances for my limitations wherever they happen to land at that point.
What about you? Do feel like you should always be the same or have you found your rhythm of differences?
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In the comments:
We’re being open here, sharing and saying things we don’t always say out loud. What helps: Sharing your stories and Ideas. Cheering and telling what works/worked for you. What hurts: shoulds, harshness, and such. (I used to teach first grade, I can’t help it.)