About a day after I got back from New York, I got sick. Or, well, sickly. I don’t think there was any sort of infection, just inflammation and an extreme histamine response.
And truthfully, I was offended.
You see, I don’t get sick. It’s part of the unwritten contract I have with my body. The one benefit of having an immune system that is always in overdrive, always ready to attack my joints if I don’t follow the path we’ve carved out together, is that same heightened sensitivity kills any pathogens arrogant enough to trespass.
The last time I remember being sick, actually sick was about eight or nine years ago. I was teaching first grade and about a month into the semester I got strep. That’s it, I don’t get colds, I don’t get the flu. Dammit, I don’t get sick.
But apparently, I do occasionally get sickly. Because here’s the thing, that unwritten contract… It’s pretty one sided. As in, I made it up and my body doesn’t even know it has a bargain to uphold. It just does its thing, and sometimes its thing is getting overwhelmed and taking me down for a few days.
I can make up all the rules I want, but there’s no way to force my body into compliance. And so I do what I can, eating well, exercising, making sure I get enough rest. Because that’s the real agreement, I do what I can and so does my body.
Which reminds me of both of the things in which I firmly believe: 1) We do the best we can with what we have available. 2) I’ll always be okay, maybe not great, but okay.
The Best and Your Best
We have a tendency to say “I could have done better” when we mean “I wish I’d done better”. Because if we could have done better, we would have. Our capacity in one moment is not always, or even often, our full capacity. We’re human, we get overwhelmed, we make not perfect choices.
Instead of beating yourself up over a less than great choice, I’d like you to try something. Say, “I did the best I could with what I had” and let it go. Then, figure out what your next choice is and make the best one you can. Because all we have is each moment and when we relive the previous ones, we lose the one we’re in.
Do you have a different way of getting out of a frustrated at yourself loop? Please, share it with us in the comments.
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In the comments:
We’re being open here, sharing and saying things we don’t always say out loud. What helps: Sharing your stories and Ideas. Cheering and telling what works/worked for you. What hurts: shoulds, harshness, and such. (I used to teach first grade, I can’t help it.)