Hiding Your Beauty
May 7th, 2011

Certain thoughts have been buzzing my randomly over the last few months. Where I get to see bits and pieces of how I think of myself and what I look like and where it all fits together. It started with the bikini, the revelations that is. Then, when I was first back in Dallas, I bought a dress, one where the hem is above the knee.

Because I wore knee braces pretty much every day since some time in 2004, I never wore skirts that were shorter than mid calf. And I never wore shorts. My braces disrupted the look of the outfit, managing to both embarrass and irritate me. Sometime when I was in Mexico, my knees just got too hot with the braces and I stopped wearing them unless I had my full pack on. And my knees didn’t suffer.

Don’t look at me

Back to the dress: I went to a coffee shop in Austin when I first went down to look for a place. When I walked in wearing jeans and a tee, no one gave me a second look. The next day, I wore the dress and heels and suddenly people were paying attention.

The other day I was walking down a main street and some guy leaned out his window, turned around and hollered “You got it girl!”. My first thought was about whether or not I wanted to wear shorts and a jog bra while doing Couch to 5K (I was headed to the walking path by the river, at the time). Well… Okay, my first thought was “Child, go back to mopping the floor at McDonald’s”, but my second thought was about my clothes and my body and people looking at me.

On my walk home my thoughts turned towards my glasses, they’re dark chunky plastic frames. They’re attractive, but they make me look more serious than my face looks on it’s own.

Where do these bricks keep coming from?

I used to wear cute dresses until I got married and then again just after I got divorced but before my knees started giving me problems. This is the long way of me saying that I’m wondering if I’ve gotten into presenting myself the way that I do so that people won’t notice me. I think I’ve been using my appearance to put another wall between me and the rest of the world.

So, now what? I need to get my eyes checked anyway, so this time I’ll get contacts again. I’m rebuilding my wardrobe now that not everything has to fit into my pack. In addition to my usual criteria, is it a natural material, can it go from dryer to closet without stopping by an iron, or at least be dry cleaned; I’m adding a question: do I feel attractive in this? Not sexy, not hot, just attractive. When I wear this, am I attracting the notice of other people, in a positive way?

 

Do you hide behind your clothes? I’d love to know how, why, and if you plan to do anything about it.

 

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  • http://twitter.com/shannamann Shanna Mann

    I love clothing for its costuming effect. I love that, simply by changing my clothes, I can “blend in” with a different group of people. Usually it’s subtle, but sometimes it’s kapow!

    Right now, for instance, I’m wearing jeans and a tshirt, scuffed ropers, and a baseball cap with a kerchief underneath, because today we are branding and I’m fitting in with the neighbors (there’s a certain element of function, of course, but I’m also using it to grease the wheels.)

    I never use clothing to hide, but I do use it to blend, and most often I use it to signal “Look at me” because I always perform better with an audience. I’ve always found that when I walk into a room and people are milling around getting their sea legs, if you approach with confidence people are relieved, and confidence is catching.

    That being said, I do find it unnerving to get whistled at when I’m not “dressed” to be whistled at. It’s like, what the hell? I’m flying under the radar today. Why are you looking at me?

  • http://elizabethpottsweinstein.com ElizabethPW

    I used to see women dressed in these interesting yet classy yet fun ways and say “I wish I could dress like that” … until the wonderful man in my life said – “Elizabeth, you could dress like that.”

    So now I do. And the funny thing is that I can pull it off, and that it’s not expensive at all, and that shoes/clothes can be cute/sexy/fun & comfortable at the same time, and it’s totally easy to dress in an outfit versus just throwing on clothes (takes another 30 seconds to add an accessory and cute yet comfortable shoes).

    In the last 6 months, I’ve started wearing skirts again too. Got my first mini skirt (been what, 10 years?) in February.

    Now I have five.

  • Sue T

    Of course!
    I enjoy watching “What Not to Wear” and “How Do I Look?” — they are so informative about the hiding part, and about choosing clothes to flatter whatever size and shape you actually are. I do keep some clothes around specifically for hiding purposes. But I have, and wear, flattering clothes as well. (A few skirts/dresses are in the extra closet but I haven’t worn them for 20 years. Just not comfortable to me.)

    The hardest part these days is the shoes. My feet can’t tolerate even low heels, and any shoes that are narrow in the toe box, for more than a few minutes. So summer is great because I can wear sandals, but the rest of the year it’s sneakers or clunky loafers. Sigh.

  • http://thesocialcaterpillar.com/ Kathryn Hunter

    Yes, costuming is wonderful and so helpful for people watching. I think the plan for clothes acquisition requires one more question: Do I feel confident/strong in myself?

  • http://thesocialcaterpillar.com/ Kathryn Hunter

    I’m so on board with skirts, I’m headed to the library to get a copy of the skirt sewing book I love. It’s actually faster for me to sew a skirt than look for one, too picky/difficult fit.

    I can hardly wait to build a wardrobe where it’s easy to put on an outfit as it is to put on clothes. :)

  • http://thesocialcaterpillar.com/ Kathryn Hunter

    I used to watch that all the time. I especially loved the sample outfits.

    Take a look at sketchers flats, they have a sport sole with the look of flats. I’ve been wearing them for years.

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